I confess

I have to confess I am probably one of the worlds worst bloggers. Even when I was younger I’d start a diary and keep it for a while then just stop writing in it. I guess it was partly knowing someone might read my most personal thoughts and realizing those thoughts were boring as hell is what always did it.

In this case it’s the discipline to sit down and do it that’s lacking. Oddly right now discipline is the word of the king in this house as Bug is currently making me think I might possibly be speaking in some odd language that I only think is English, that he cannot understand.

So far this second pregnancy has made a lie of my first trimester statement that “I don’t even feel pregnant”. The pregnancy of Jelly Bean is officialy high risk as my blood pressure decided to stay elevated. The good news is that it’s not pre-eclampsia.  It is however not the ideal.

The last month and a half has been spent attempting to “take it slow” while I go to weekly doctor appointments, bi weekly non stress tests and blood work every few weeks. I should have my own parking spot at Suk’s office, or at least be included in the Drug Rep lunches.

All this has shown that my daughter is growing well despite my BP.  It also means she’ll miss being pre-mature by a week. I’m going to be induced in 10 days to avoid actually going into the danger zone.

So, there’s going to be a new face at the Thanksgiving table this year and Bug is waiting to his baby sister to arrive. He’s got his own baby he’s taking care of, when he’s not sitting on it’s head.  He’s also been looking over the tiny things going into his room. I give him 3 days before he asks if we can take her back to Target.

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Just when you think it’s all good.

After answering the question “how’s this pregnancy going?” and telling everyone that this time around has been going great and I hardly feel pregnant 24 weeks and 5 days threw a wrench on things and my blood pressure ended up putting me on bed rest for almost a week and a “short leash” (quote the doctor), for the foreseeable future with the promise of more bed rest if my blood pressure goes back up.

 

When we spoke about having another child we figured we’d give it a chance, it had been so hard with Bug and we really expected to spend a few months trying and half expected to still be one child parents at the end of it.  Never in a light year had either of us expected to find out we were going to have another baby after two months.

 

After the positive pregnancy test, ok 6 tests, I geared up to puke for the next 9 months but that didn’t happen either.  I didn’t get so tired I feel asleep at 4am, I didn’t spend hours obsessing over certain foods.  Just food in general.   The pregnancy was what every women dreams of for herself.   Sure the doctor and I both talked about watching my BP, we figured it “might” happen but neither one of us really expected it to happen until it did.

 

On the whole I’m so lucky that it looks like I’ll just end up on meds and close monitoring the rest of my pregnancy it really could be so much worse and I remind myself of that.  It’s still annoying as hell though.

 

It’s hard to realize until you can’t anymore how often you get up during a lazy day.  I mean, it’s easy to think it’ll be fun to do nothing until you need a cup of water or get hungry.  Then it gets annoying.  Because asking for a cup of water or a sandwich when you’re over 5 makes you feel a little, well, like you can’t take care of yourself.  It’s even worse when you know your bathroom needs to be cleaned or the cats need water.

 

This all started though just went I figured nothing could really go wrong.  I was moving along, gaining little weight, working out and enjoying my almost mom squared status.  I had always thought if my BP was going to go up this time it would go up way earlier.  I never saw this coming.  Things had been going too great.  The monthly appointment was almost boring with the lack of issues.  I was more concerned about the bother of going into labor at Thanksgiving.   Now I’m just shooting for Thanksgiving.

 

I’ll take this though because  at the end of it I get a little baby girl to dress in pink and purple and sparkles.

You’d think “go home, get into bed” would be good news.

While I was pregnant with Bug my BP was high.  It was high through the whole pregnancy and fairly consistent so my doctor watched me and we took it a visit at a time.    This time around I’m much thinner, eat much better, work out and drink lots of water so watching my BP was really a caution given my history.

Or so I thought.   On Thursday I developed contractions that would start if I was on my feet more than 20 to 30 minutes at a time.  On Saturday a headache that wouldn’t go away took hold.  I took it easy all weekend, well as easy as one can with a 3 year old bouncing off of walls can.

Today after a call to my doctor she suggested that I should come in to get my BP checked because the headache worried her much more than the contractions which she thinks are probably round ligament paint.  Personally I’m thinking more Braxton Hicks.   Not that this at all matters.

I go to her office and a nurse takes me to a room and takes my BP, she goes to show it to the doctor who then wants a urine sample.  You know that can’t really be a good thing right?  After a cup of water and a few moments of waiting the nurse has what she needs and comes back to see me after Doc has gone over that with the BP.
The verdict?  Go home, bed rest until Wednesday when I have another appointment.  She’s pretty sure this is only a precaution and that after a few days off my feet my BP will go down.  I really hope so because, let me tell you, the idea of a doctor telling you that you can’t cook or clean is really awesome.  The reality is that I don’t have a maid or a live in nanny.

And you know, you really don’t realize how much you do during the average day at home until you can’t.  Do you know how long it actually takes to cook a box of mac n cheese?  Or how long it really takes to shower?  Luckily I’m not on total bed rest so I can get up, go to the bathroom, shower and chill on the couch.  I cannot imagine how bad it would be if I couldn’t even get up to get a glass of water on my own.  Kudos for you mom’s who have.

In the mean time,  Jelly Bean is gonna stick tight and has been having a fantastic day rolling around in her mommy’s tummy.  And I’m making the mistake of watching the food network.