I remembered!

When I got home I remembered what I had wanted to rant about earlier today.   See, when I got home I saw Kyle and his smile turned that light bulb back on.  Why did he do that?   Because I’m tired of people asking me why he looks the way he does.

My wonderful husband is Korean, I am not.  From the time he was born people have seen us and asked the question, “why doesn’t he look more Asian?”  Well. hell if I know.  Why not ask an actual doctor that.  Or was that your veiled way of asking me if Kyle is Jason’s son.

I find it so insulting that people feel it’s ok to even ask me that but some people press on further, asking me if they switched babies or something .  Um, no, they did not.  If you’d actually take the time to look a bit harder you’d see that Kyle has his daddy’s eyes and his daddy’s nose.  He’s also got Jason’s sense of humor and bull headed stubbornness.

See people, genetics are funny things.  It’s why two parents who have dark hair have a blond baby, me in case you’re wondering.  I then have to go on to explain that because Jason was adopted we simply don’t know the scope of his heritage and Kyle could reflect any number of his daddy’s biological family members.

I shouldn’t have to offer explanations but dammit, when you mix genes you never know what you’re going to get.  I find it completely out of bounds that people should even feel ok asking these questions much less deal with the implied racism some  ask them with.  “Why isn’t he more slanty eyed?  Why isn’t his skin more yellow.”

I get it, really I do.  In theory the Korean genes should be the dominate ones but Mother Nature can really toss a curve ball down the line sometimes.  How many times have we read a story about twins being born, one white and one black.  Recessive genes, Wiki it.

Kyle, like all babies and children, is a reflection of  his parents genetic make up.  From my temper to Jason’s toes and my dad’s hairline.  We all come from somewhere and we’ve all got surprises in the DNA soup that makes us who we are.  I bet if you sat and thought about it you could come up with a list of genetic things that can pop up out of, seemingly, no where.

So, no, it doesn’t bother me Kyle doesn’t ‘look’ like Jason, because he does.  He just doesn’t look as Korean as some people think he should.

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2 thoughts on “I remembered!

  1. Kyle looks a lot like his mama, too. I can see you both in him so much. I can’t imagine how someone could suggest that he’s “the wrong baby.”

    Some people are just curious about the genetic soup, especially when it comes to racial mixtures, some just don’t understand how certain words may sound when they drop out of their mouths, and some might be implying something more sinister. Usually it’s one of the first two. In my line of work, I see babies of all kinds of mixtures. Sometimes it’s obvious that the child is not with his/her biological parents, but most of the time, I’ll look a little closer, but no matter what, I always treat each parent/child the way I’d prefer my family be treated (as pasty pale white as they come, all three of us).

    Sorry people are stupid. Kyle’s awesome. You should just respond with that next time, “Dude, can’t you see the awesome– he’s obviously 100% ours because of all that immediately visible awesome right there.”

  2. People are aholes. It’s annoying. Heck, my youngest looks almost nothing like me. It’s like a carbon copy of his dad. My oldest looks exactly like me (as in put our photos of us at the same age next to each other and we look like twins) and looks nothing like my husband. Youngest has my temper… oldest has his dad’s lack of temper. It’s weird and it’s just how genetics are sometimes.

    I like Sara’s line. You should totally use it next time someone makes a comment. Or if they ask how Jason could be his dad since he doesn’t look Korean enough, ask them if they realize they’re implying you got around the block or if they realize how they sound like a tool 😉

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