This is what’s wrong with us

There was a horrific murder in Milwaukee recently.  A mother and her two sons, 3 and 4, were murdered then their apartment set on fire.  When the story first broke the roommate and a 6 week old baby were missing.  The newborn was found on church steps in his car seat.  The missing roommate?  Dead.

The roommate, as it turns out, master minded the murder of these three and with the help of two men slaughtered two innocent children.  Over what?  She was mad the women had had a baby, the 6 week old, with a man she still loved.  The guys helped for a paltry $800 they stole.  When her photo was being run on the news they got scared and killed her to try and cover their own asses.

The murders were violent and I’m not able to read the whole account much less retell it without crying uncontrollably.  She set up and helped murder two innocent children because she didn’t like their mother.  They knew her, trusted her and she participated in their murders.  She did not stand on the side lines while her scum helpers did the deed, no she actively murdered two babies.  She was beyond scum, beyond evil.  What she was I have no words for.  Her cohorts did the world a favor, though I wish they’d drawn her murder out so her last moments were as terror filled as the babies were.  She died too easily.

Her family ran a glowing obituary calling her “Betty Boop” and how she was the loving aunt and daughter.  This is what’s wrong with our society.  This thing, in my eyes she’s below human, murdered a women and two of her children over a guy.  As this happened in a not great part of town I’m going to go out on a limb here and state he was probably not a great catch anyway.  She was cruel and from what I’ve read, seemed to enjoy the terror she was inflicting on her victims.  And here her family is posting an obituary talking about her as if she was a random victim of an accident or an illness.

We have no shame any longer.  The mother of Dylan Klebold wrote an amazing book in which she talks about her grief and shame warring with each other.  She spoke of how she grieved for her son but would feel guilt over doing so given what he’d done.   This family shows no shame over their “loving” daughters actions.  No, they post a death notice that is glowing.

I don’t deny a family grieves, and I wouldn’t say they shouldn’t.  I’m sure that there were things about this women that they loved and will miss.  I’m sure they hurt, but where is their shame for the wreckage their loved one left behind?
Without shame we have no rules about what is right and what is wrong.  If we remove shame from everything there is no reason to avoid actions.  I’m not implying that we should shame single moms, people with mental illness or even people who have made mistakes.  But people who feel some sort of remorse for bad choices also feel shame over them.  Remorse and shame go hand in hand.  Shame is a natural negative consequence of an action and we need to stop acting as if all shame is bad shame and we shouldn’t feel it.  Maybe if we had two baby boys would still be alive.

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