It was a friggin’ pimple.

Two weeks ago I noticed Kyle had a small pimple, as baby sometimes get, on his tummy right where his diaper hits it.  I kept an eye on it but didn’t really do anything but leave it to do it’s thing.

Well last night he screamed a good portion of the night.  This morning Jason reported that it was red and somewhat hard.  I told him to put triple antibiotic cream on it, give him some baby Tylenol and watch it.  I called my mom to warn her before he got there and told her what we were doing and keep an eye on it.  I then called my doctor’s office and her nurse called me back.  She said from what it was at that time we were doing the right thing but if it got worse call ASAP.

Well at 1:30 my mom called and Kyle was fussing and not bending.  I asked her to look at his side.  The first words out of her mouth were for me to get home.  As I flew down the street I called my doctor’s office and asked if I should take him to Urgent Care or the ER.  Mary, bless her, told me that our doctor had a 2:40, could we make it?  Hell yes I could.

When we got there he was a bit fussy, and running a slight fever.  Mary left the room and Dr. Suk came in.  As soon as she saw it she walked back out told Mary to come back in and told me that “Dana, this is bad.”  This is Dr. Sukowaty for “Ok, this is somewhat of an emergency and we need to really get on our toes here”   As they came and went bringing things in I leaned in and started talking to my baby boy.  I told him what was going to happen was going to hurt a lot and mommy was sorry but she promised it would help him feel better even if it didn’t right away.  Mary held his little arms and I held his little legs.  Dr. Suk asked if I was ok with that and it’s where I had to be.

He cried his heart out as she drained the abscess.  His eyes locked on me asking me why I was helping them do this to him.  He tried very hard to get away, but almost as soon as the doctor began to drain the pus and blood from the swollen lump of his tummy you could see it getting better.

When we got home he sat in my lap.  If anyone else tried to hold him for a moment he melted down.  If I tried to put him on the floor and hold his hand he melted down.  He was exhausted, in pain and confused and damnit if sitting on mommy’s lap watching NCIS didn’t make him feel safe.  He had a dinner of toast, a lollypop the doctor and nurse begged me to give him (not that it took much. I would have asked had they not insisted), chocolate kisses and a chocolate Easter bunny.  Hell if he’d wanted a steak I would have found a way to get it to him.

Is he ok?  Well, yes and no.  They gave him two antibiotic shots and the abscess is open to drain, and it is.  We are, however, under orders to watch  him and should his fever spike, or  the abscess get worse or pus begins to drain again we are to go to the ER, period.  I was also told that under no circumstances would he be allowed to come home tonight unless we came back tomorrow.  And I was also told if it wasn’t getting better he would be admitted for IV antibiotics.

So, yes it seems to be doing better and yes he is now sleeping soundly and yes it looks better, but better is relative here. It’s still swollen and red and he is still in pain.  All day tomorrow I’m going to worry and beat myself up because I have to work a 10 hour day so I can get my 40 in for my liver MRI on Friday.  I also have to go in on Saturday to make up the 4 hours I lost today.  I’ll wonder if I’m placing my job over my son, if I shouldn’t just stay home and watch him and be damned with the consequences.  But I know that my mother will be like a hawk.  She and my father were here tonight to rescue their own child with dinner and help.  She knows what she’s watching for and she knows that she made the right call to tell me to get home.  Had we waited he may well have been admitted.

Right now I wonder, am I putting my job ahead of my son?  But it’s because of him that I need to work.  It’s not as if I’m dropping him off at day care and ignoring what’s going on.  I also realize that I can’t just cancel Friday for me because there is a 1 in a million chance something really is wrong with my liver and if I don’t address this it could leave him without a mother.

And so tomorrow, so long as he’s not worse, I will get up and worry for 10 hours about him.  Want to cuddle and hold him and tell him his mommy loves him.  I’ll race home to turn around and take him back to the doctor and pray she’ll like what she sees so I don’t have a repeat of the 48 hours I stayed with him in Children’s.

All of this started from a small pimple.  Our doctor was, as usual, calm and direct.  She told me that these types of things come on quick and that I’d made the right call in the morning and the right call to bring him in.  She reassured me I wasn’t a horrible mother for not realizing sooner that this was as bad as it was.  I sent Jason a picture of his tummy right after his bath tonight, even with it less swollen and red he said it wasn’t that bad when he’d dressed him and sent him to my mom’s.  An hour and a half was all it took for a pimple to turn into something that could have been far more serious than it already is.

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