It actually is.  On Halloween I gave up and finally gave in.  Christmas starts at noon on Halloween.  The commercials said so.  The malls said so.  The stores said so.  It must be true.  Christmas is a 2 month-long celebration now.

That snark said, we have begun Christmas shopping.  We’ve gotten in the habit of starting sooner rather than later.  With more people to buy for and a little guy who Santa comes to visit we just can’t afford to wait until December to start.  So far my dad is done, my brother-in-law is done.  Three nieces are too.  Kyle’s started.

I also began some crafts, which I’ll share after Christmas because some people who will receive them are reading this.  They are small stocking stuffers, but fun and in the spirit of my whole “I wanna be more creative and stuff” kick.

As soon as my dad bring it over, I’m going to start Kyle’s big gift.  When my grandfather was in high school he made a large wooden box in tech ed.  That box became my mom’s toy box, then mine.  For the last decade it’s been sitting in my mom’s bedroom being used to store sweaters.  Now it will be Kyle’s toy box.

The box is in good shape, structure wise but its showing it’s years.  Thankfully my dad made the effort to teach me how to do basic carpentry as well as how to sand, prime and paint.  My plan is to sand the box down, add new legs.  Then I’m going to prime and paint it and stencil Kyle’s name onto it.  I’m going to cover the lid with batting and fabric so he has his own little seat and install break hinges so it won’t slam on him.  I want to at least get the sanding down while it’s still warm so working in the garage won’t suck as bad.  If I don’t get the painting done I can use dad’s portable heater.

I’m really excited about it.  Right now Kyle has a dresser in his room that was his daddy’s.  Jason’s Uncle Earl stripped it and refurnished it for him, now he’ll have something from my childhood too.  I’m also excited that I’ll have more room to store the toys that are spilling everywhere.

Speaking of, I need to go through them and soon.  I need to back up and donate the ones he no longer plays with and the ones he’s outgrown to make room for all the new stuff he’ll get.

Now, to go get him out of the fire-place….

So, in case I forgot to mention, and given it’s been forever and a day, that my father took the muffler off my car, my dad took the muffler off my car.

Mom and dad’s truck has a really nasty habit of not turning over randomly and so dad will often borrow my car to run errands.  I’d rather lend him my car than have to wake Kyle up and go get him when his doesn’t start so it really works out for the best.

Well last week my mom and dad ran to visit a friend out in the country.  Dad’s driven a truck for so long even my Mom Car Sentra is like a “roller skate” to him.  To me it’s a sedan that has no frills and even less thrills.  So there he is, driving along in the dark along a country highway and he hits a dip in the road and the car bottomed out.  My best guess is that he hit at just the right angle that he put enough pressure on the weld that holds my muffler to my exhaust pipe to pop the weld.

I really wasn’t mad and actually a little amused.  My mom kept freaking out and stressing to me that dad hadn’t been driving like a lunatic teenager, I just kept telling her it sorta made up for all those times I’d had to call and say “now, about the car.”  I knew he’d fix it so I wasn’t too worried.  In fact it was drivable so I really wasn’t worried.  In fact, my car mad the really “cool” noise modded cars did.  Well, until Tuesday.  Coming home from work the muffler finally fell off the pipe and the car sounded like a jet engine coming in on emergency approach.  Yep, dad was going to have to fix it quick.

So dad was all set to fix my car today and Jason’s mom (who really, really rocks) took his to the shop to get a tune up and winterized.  Jason’s car got home but I still didn’t have my car.  Turns out the muffler for my car is special order.  Really?!  The muffler for a 2005 Sentra is a special order?!  It’s a fairly popular make and model of car…Really?  Um.  K.

Luckily Jason’s off on vacation so he’s taking me into work Monday and Tuesday morning.  Fingers crossed my car will be mine again on Wednesday.

And given that daddy’s home on vacation Kyle decided today was a great day to get a pumpkin.  Ok, so Jason and I decided that but he went along for the ride.

I’m gonna be honest.  He was not an overly happy camper.  He whined, cried and tried to break free all afternoon.  He just did not want to go along with the plan.  He did end up picking out a really nice pumpkin at The Elegant Farmer, home of the Apple Pie Baked in a Paper Bag, even Bobby Flay had no words for it.  Order it if you can.

Grammie also got his Halloween costume today.  We’re going with penguin.  Daddy loves ‘em and so does he.  And all the R2D2 costumes looked like a two year old was not only wearing them but made them.

And I’ve got nothing going on.  Nothing at all.  Maybe I’ll start the Christmas lists (I’ve already got some idea’s), or maybe I’ll just be a slug.  If one can be a slug while doing laundry and cleaning.

All of my friends are off playing Aion now, but I can neither afford the game it’s self or the monthly fee.  I’ll live, I know, but man what I’m hearing is good stuff and I really want to give it a shot.  Maybe someday.

Another game I want to play is Sims Agents, it’s been a while since I’ve played a counsel game and I’d like one that I can play and not ignore Skipper, I haven’t heard much yet about it but it’s Sims so it shouldn’t suck too bad.

Right now I’m also in a rage against Time Warner Cable.  Other than poor internet, random rests of our two different receivers and the fact that I cannot get AT&T U-Verse because they have locked access to the equipment for the building, they are all cool.  Aside from the fact that, you know, their customer service sucks and their policies suck even harder.

If you haven’t yet, start watching The Guild.  Hi-larious.  Even if you don’t do MMORPG’s if you role play get a lot of the geeky drama that ensues, it’s even more fun to assign real life people to the characters.  Of course I’m not going to be telling you who is who in my life, but if you’ve gamed with me you can totally guess.

I have to come clean. I love the dollar store. If you aren’t a slave to brands or snobbish about where you shop give it a pass through one day.

I recently had to make a pit stop there on the way home from work. Here’s a list of what I got:
Dishwasher detgernt ($3.00)
Hand soap ($1.00 if you find a sale, $1.50 if you don’t.)
Fall window clings (not a deal but I do love fall do dads)
Refills for the Swifer Duster (have you priced those?! $3.00 to $5.00)
Crest toothpaste ($3.50)
Toothbrush ($2.00)
Olive oil bottle ($9.00)
Bounce paper towels ($1.50)

Just like when looking at generic things at the grocery store it’s hit or miss and sometimes you can find it cheaper elsewhere on sale, so sometimes you have to try. The olive oil bottle isn’t as nice, glass wise, as the $9.00 I got at Bed Bath and Beyond but it works for my needs.

There are plenty of name brands, but remember to check the toothpaste and make sure it has flouride in it.

Your local dollar store probably also carries a large supply of gift bags in lots of sizes, wrapping paper, a huge money saver at Christmas, and ribbon. Mine also has a nice selection of mylar balloons.

While my local one is packed to the gills it’s generally neat and tidy. Check out takes a tad longer because you’re lucky if they have two registers open but to save $25.00 it’ worth it to me.

Now when I sit down to write out my grocery list I have three places. The Dollar Store, Aldi’s and Pick ‘N Save. This week I’m going to keep a tab of what I got and how much it would have cost me not going generic. If I don’t run out of steam while shopping.

This has been one of those weeks where each day just marched by with no real excitement.  Long boring days where everything was routine. Wake up, take shower, make Kyle’s breakfast, make up, get Kyle up, watch him eat, get Jason up, go to work.  Work, work work.  Pick Kyle up, make dinner, play with Kyle, eat dinner, play with Kyle, bath, Yardagains, book bed.  Mommy’s dead to the world. 

But when I start to whine that my days are boring I remember the Chinese curse “may you live in interesting times.”  Anytime I start to wish for something more does God ever give it to me in the form of some crisis.  My gall bladder, mom’s surgery, dad’s being ill, my infection.  Ok, so this year has sucked when it comes to health in my family. 

There is nothing exciting I have going on this weekend I’m just excited by the idea of spending time with my son making memories with him.  I’m going to make his zucchini carrot muffins this weekend, and he loves helping mommy do laundry.  I also want to watch the Star Wars movies with him this weekend.  No, not all of them but Episode 4 maybe. 

In the mean time, I need more coffee to get through the rest of my work day.

It has begun to weigh on me that Jason and I are at a crossroads in our financial well being.

I don’t normally discuss money here because, well, it’s personal. But now with my mothers knee totally blown out and her knee replacement scheduled in October we’ve had to put Kyle in daycare and right now I’m stressing about how we’ll pay for next week.

We aren’t so far behind on anything I’m afraid to answer the door, but with the cost of everything going up and up we aren’t able to save or do anything “fun”.

And so, I’m at a crossroads. I currently have a job that really is family friendly and where time off is weighed against the quality of my body of work. But the pay isn’t as much as some other places.

I can find another job that pays more and may even have short term leave so that we could consider another child, but I’d probably have to give up a good part of the flexibility I currently have. Between having a small child and parents who often need my help it’s not an easy decision.

Of course liking my boss and the owner of the clinics also makes it hard. But of the two of us it makes far more sense for me to look. Jason has outstanding insurance and tons of seniority. Me, not so much.

It’s finally fall here and I just love fall, it makes me all domestic and stuff.  The last week around the place has been busy.

Last Sunday Jason’s mom took us all to the zoo.  Kyle seemed to enjoy it and we lucked out with him.  He likes to walk and hold your hand and ride in his stroller, not one melt down the whole day.  While many of the animals weren’t all the interesting to him (the people had a lot of appeal though) he did really like the elephants.  I ended up getting one of those plastic ones that you put your money into the machine and it punches out for you.

The Milwaukee County Zoo also has a really neat train that runs around the zoo.  When I was a kid that was the last thing we did for the day and that’s what we did too.  The train he loved.

Monday my dad called me at work and I didn’t fully understand him, I just heard “need car, mom not well, doctor.”  Thankfully I work for a place that actually means it when they say they are family friendly because I didn’t even fully get the words out of my mouth before my boss was telling me just to leave.

It turns out my dad was having a lot of stomach pain and needed to get to the doctor.  My original plan was to pick him up and having him drop me back at work but when he started telling me his feet were numb and his back was bad and that he was in a lot of pain I asked him if he was sure he could drive.  In typical dad he just said that I needed to go back to work.  I pressed him and he just said “well if you don’t have to go back.”  Yeah, that’s dad speak for “I really shouldn’t be driving, can you help.”

Karen took Kyle for the night, her new A/C and heating unit was being installed Tuesday so she was going to have a Kyle day, and I spent the next few hours taking my dad from the doctor to the hospital for tests.  All I can say is St. Luke’s once again did nothing to impress me at all.  I’m so unimpressed by the hospitals around me I’m tempted to move back into Waukesha County again.
At any rate, dad’s doing ok, though they are still not 100% sure what’s causing the issues.  Fact is, he’s had them for years but over the last 12 months he’s only getting worse.  Scares the hell outta me, I even joked with him that he couldn’t die because then mom would have to live with me.  Between her MS and now having a total knee replacement on October 14th and his GI issues it’s hard not to worry.

Friday Jason, Kyle and I went to meet Ms. Betty to see if she was a good fit to watch him 3 days a week.  Her living room is full of cars, trucks and trains.  Kyle was pissed when it was time to leave.  Betty has three children, two grown and one 15 year old at home.  He came out and started playing with Kyle, it was even sweeter when he heard Kyle fuss because we’d taken away a toy and came around a corner to make sure he was ok.

Two family’s Betty has worked with or is currently working with, are in CPS.  Two license foster homes and one licenses day cares.  If that doesn’t make you feel a little more comfortable I don’t know what will.  She was genuinely excited when I called her Saturday night and asked all sorts of questions about what Kyle likes and who the little dude is.

I’ve also been indulging in home making.  I have a little pillow that’s the perfect size for a toddler, that is encased in plastic.  Of course you can’t find pillow cases to fit so I made 3, with a 4th getting there.  I found I actually liked sewing better than I remembered.  Of course, I’m not all that great at it, but it was still nice to make something just for Kyle from his mommy.

Thursday I made Breakfast Cookies .  Some mornings it’s just plain hard to get something together for him while getting myself ready and these seemed way more healthy than store bought bars.  Also a hell of a lot cheaper.  They’re pretty darn easy, though the dough is sticky so I used gloves while rolling them out.

Saturday Kyle and I made Lemon Ricotta Cookies.  He had fun sticking his hand in flour and watching the beaters of my mixer.  In fact, he got mad because I put him back in the living room while I was putting the cookies on the cookie sheet and into the oven.  He really, really, wanted to see what I was doing.  Kyle really likes puttering in the kitchen with me while I cook.  I give him a big plastic spoon and an old coffee can and he’ll ‘mix’ while I cook.  When he’s bored with that he’ll come over to the computer.  Yeah, I know.

After he went to bed I made meatballs for meatball subs this week while talking to Betty on the phone.  You gotta love Bluetooth there.  It’s a weird feeling having a phone conversion while you’re up to your elbows in meat.  In my continuing efforts to try and get more veggies in all of our diets I put some carrots in the mix.  I’ve done it before and it honestly doesn’t change the taste, except to make them a tad sweeter.

Tonight I made chicken pot pie, and crunchy chicken fingers.  The chicken fingers I par-fried and will finish them in the oven this week when we have them for dinner.

Kyle also went to grandma and grandpa’s today for a little of the Packer game.  Dad is really hopeful Kyle will take after him and not his daddy when it comes to the Pack but he’s happy just to have a little guy to watch the game with.

So that’s about it.  Life around my place.  Exciting no?

I was 23 and working at a bank downtown in the tallest building in Milwaukee.  It had been a normal Tuesday morning so far I’d had half of my cup of coffee and fought rush hour traffic listening to Bob and Brian.  They had Steve Czaben to do sports and Ted Perry that morning because Kerry was off.  Steve innocently asked the guys if they had CNN on while they were talking because The World Trade Center was on fire.

The guys in classic Bob and Brian started making jokes about how they don’t watch the news and giving Steve a hard time, but they switched the channel and then I suddenly heard silence.  After a pause Ted got on the mic and stated in a classic news anchor voice, that they had just witnessed a plane hitting the other tower.  He emphasized that at this time they didn’t know what was going on and described what they had seen.  Bob, Brian and Steve all stated it looked like a commercial jet to them, but Ted again stated that at this time they did not know.

Ted did a wonderful job that morning, looking back I am amazed at how cool and professional he was from the moment they witnessed the plane, United Airlines Flight 175, slamming in to the south tower.  Generally when he’s on with the boys he’s silly and less buttoned up than he is on the evening news.  That day he wasn’t.

Ted talked me through what was going on until I arrived at work.  There was a calm surface to the chaos that we felt that day.  Most other businesses in the tower sent everyone home.  There was still a plane missing, United Airlines Flight 93 , and while the Firstar building isn’t a high priority the local FBI office was concerned that it would become a secondary target if primary targets were empty.  It was confusion, no one knew who’d done this (though in my car I kept saying “Osama, Osama” over and over) or what their targets were.  Were they going for finical centers?  Government buildings?  Were there more planes?

The bank stated we’d be open for business as usual and a security guard, seeing I was scared told me not to worry, the FBI was on the roof, my response was something along the lines of would the FBI be spitting on the planes.  My bosses boss wandered downstairs from the 3rd floor executive offices (where the CEO and the CFO and other big wigs had decided to “work from home”) saw me crying and wanted to know what was wrong.  What was wrong?  People were flying planes into buildings full of people to prove a point.

By 10am people were finally being sent home from the bank.  I understood then, and now, that there is an obligation to keep banks open in times like that but I still resented being made to stay when the world had gone mad.

I don’t think we turned the TV off for weeks afterward.  Jason and I moved that weekend to our own apartment after living in the DHH for 5 months.  I packed watching people placing victims on stretchers, covering them with the flag and slowly carrying then up to waiting ambulances to go to the morgue.  In between loads of our things being hauled from the DHH to the new place I light a candle that Friday night.  Every year on 9/11 I light another one.

As each generation moves from actual memories of that day to learning about it from parents, grandparents and teachers the horror, the feeling of being lost, the sheer fact the world we’d known had been thrown not only upside down but inside out, will be lost.  It will be come an objective lesson, much like Pearl Harbor is for myself and my generation.  I do hope, though, in this digital age we’ll have more people’s memories of the events, from the news footage, raw and uncut, to blogs like this; that my son and his peers will be able to remember too each year on 9/11.

I want few things in life that can be bought. But I’m no Luddite.

I wish I had:

A kitchen aid stand mixer
A Blizzard authenticator
A headset that A) fit and B) didn’t smash my hair
A larger hard drive
A detailed cleaning for my car
A pastry brush
Another Starbucks travel mug. And hell a gift card to go with it would be nice.
More clear totes to store stuff in.
More scrapbooking money!
A good shovel
Canned air

See, most of my wishes are pretty mellow. What odd things do you wish for?

I realized over the weekend I’m getting baby fever again. Kyle is an amazing boy, cute, funny, one of a kind. But as he creeps closer to year 2 I’m starting to want another little one to watch all over again. Maybe even a girl.

Oh, I know it’s a bad idea. I have no short term leave (Aflac won’t cover me. Why? My Fibro. No reason on earth was given.). We can’t afford two in day care, we can’t even afford Kyle.

I keep plugging away, trying to pay off the cars. Once that’s done we can see about trying again. I’m just getting impatient waiting.