Next, women who love tools and the tools who sorta kinda love them

Jason is in the living room watching TV with Kyle.  Apparently VH1 or some such channel tricked a bunch of guys by telling them they were going on a TV show called “Mr. Awesome”.  Turns out they were going on a show about them being tools.

So far one guy had his other girlfriend come out right after professing his love for the girl friend who got him on the show.  Another kissed another girlfriend when he thought no one was looking and another took her guy back after he couldn’t say he’d be true to her.

Now, the behavior of the men sickens me but these girls.  Come on!  He’s not going to change, he’s not worth this.  They have video of them being jerks and you’re still hoping he’s Mr. Right.  He’s not.

Let me say this in small words.  Once he cheats he’ll continue to cheat.  If he treats you like a doormat he always will.  He is not worth it.  This show should be called “Women who love Tools”.

WoW is down.  I am sad.  I shall resort to actually doing some people things.

What can I say?

There is a lot I could be saying but I’m not.  It’s that thing where you have this blog where you invite people to read your life but then realize sometimes there are things you really shouldn’t say because it would end up causing even more problems.

Let me put it this way, I life the life of a young(ish) mother who’s husbands work hours suck, who’s pay is ok but the benefits are outstanding.  Who’s boss hates him and who is miserable at his job.  I work soley because I have too with women who sometimes like me other times don’t.  I have a mother who has, among other things, MS, a brain tumor, Fibro, bad knees and a substance abuse problem.  My father is an avoider who says horrid things when I can’t hear, defends mom’s bad behavior and is also an addict.

My grandmother is great but talks about everyone.  And it’s never the good stuff only the bad and once an idea is in her head you cannot shake it.

(Sorry ahead of time Karen) My sex life is nill, and when there is anything I’m the one who iniaties.

I’m 30 and I have acne.  I have more meds now than most people two times my age.  Some are for fibro, some are for the stomach ulcers.  Others to calm me down and one for stress headaches.

There is never enough money and when there is it’s gone before we knew we had it.

I have a sister who can be giving and wonderful one day but others mean and spiteful.  She’s slow as a turtle and God help you if you need her in an emergency because she’d get there after 2 stops.  She’d need smokes, coffee, gas and a new pair of shoes.

The doctor feels that I have real health problems that are only being exasperated by my stress.  When I turned to someone to commiserate about this I was told this is life deal.

I’ve not written in a year.  Acted in over 5 and don’t ask me the last time I sung in a group.  Even WoW can’t hold my interest long.

I’m 30 and I still know when I’m going to get a ‘talking’ too, my son enjoys kicking my surgal scars and I cannot stand upright anymore.

It’s one of those things you deal with, it’s life.  I’m going to ‘pamper’ myself by taking out my contacts and using my facial mask and hide back under my electric blanket until my father comes over to fix something for me.

Paul (love ya) drove me to the ER where the did the whole works work up only to find. Nothing.

Even after my stomach began to hurt so bad Paul was ready to grab a random nurse just because of how I looked.

Once Jason arrived and the very nice doctor, that’s not sarcastic honestly, came in to tell me that he thougt taking me off two meds and having me follow up with the surgeon and he was going to send me home I lost it.

I was even more scared and in pain than on the day of my surgery but I had no answers.

Long story short I did get admitted

Back to the ER

After being rather light headed/dizzy all day and still peeing like I’m 9 months pg I’m going back to the ER.

The photos please

The painful place

Well there you go.  Those are the war wounds.  It’s much easier to get around today but I have to admit I’m still easily tired out.  Jason went to work this morning and my wonderful mother in law picked Kyle up at 10am.  So between 8am and 10am I ran around after him.  I must say, you get creative when you have limitations.

I’m going to unplug and rotate the XBox because Kyle enjoys turning it on and opening the disk drive.  Then he likes to push on said disk drive.  This could be a bad, bad thing.  It won’t stop him forever but it should slow him down for a bit.

Life line

Well I had a large post all ready to go but as luck would have it when I went in to post photos of the war wounds I lost it. Oddly enough it was a ode to how much I love this BlackBerry.

So no pics right now.

Back to the phone. I used to mock Jason because he sleeps with his. I so totally get it now. At 4 am when the pain wasn’t getting much better my phone allowed me to sign into AIM and find Sarah awake in London who, when I told her what was wrong did not hesitate to tell me to call 911.

Jason and I sleep in two different beds, long story, so when I couldn’t yell loud enough to wake him the phone let me call him to wake him up.

Of course the phone let me call 911.

From there it had medical information, phone numbers and it even amused me with episodes of House. The only problem was that I had no reception pretty much anywhere until I got to my day surgery room.

It was there that Stephanie gave me the biggest smile of my day by making sure there were pictures of Kyle waiting for me when I woke up.

Now it serves as my line to the outside world. Heck even this post. I have been texting, IMing, going online and even looked over medical sites so I could see what to expect as I healed

Bottom line I loved this phone before but now that its allowed me to have a line to others when sitting up is hard I won’t ever mock Jason again.

Ms. Lucky

So around 1:30 am on Tuesday morning I awoke in a crap ton of pain.  I got up walked around, tried to get into different positions and took some meds for my tummy.  By 4 am I told Jason we might want to call 911.

Long story short, I’m thankful for my grandmother, my parents, my mother in law and Karl and Stephanie because each one of them dropped what they were doing and helped get things in order for me to have my gall bladder removed on an emergency basis.

EMS took me to West Allis Memorial and when they called my regular doc who’s out of Waukesha Memorial she started laughing and told them if I was asking for morphine then I was in a ton of pain because she normally has a hard time making me take anything more than Tylenol.

West Allis was great but I opted to go to Waukesha to have the surgery for the continuity of my medical care and because Dr. Sukoway would be able to see me there if there had been complications while she couldn’t have at West Allis.

In both hospitals I had great staff from the nurses to the docs to the people who registered me.  If I can say it without sounding odd, it was actually a pleasant experience.  My grandma and I had a great visit, my mom and dad were extremely helpful getting me set up and ready to leave.

My surgon had told me before I went under to expect to stay the night given the time but then told the staff if I felt well enough I could opt to go home.  I actually felt pretty good, was able to get out of bed on my own, peed right away and sat well in a chair so I went home.

I’m still taking my pain meds and I can’t wait until 7 when I can shower.

And again, I’m lucky because I’ve got a whole group of people who are really going out of their ways to help me since I can’t pick Kyle up.  Or stand long.  Or drive.  I’m hoping to be off the pain meds by Friday and back to work but I’ll use my judgment.  I’ve already talked to Dr. Suk and she said if I felt I was ready to go back but the surgeon was nervous she’d release me.  But again, I’m going to take it day by day.  If I’m still having problems sitting up for long periods of time or still needing the narcotics I won’t push it.  But I think by now we all know me.  My idea of ok and another persons are two things.

In fact the surgeon did say the gall bladder was pretty bad by the time he got it out and was surprised I hadn’t been in more pain or had had it done sooner.

The Lord, He has placed wonderful people in my life.

The answer is fleece

I’m going to start this off and say there will be people who’ll read this and think very bad thoughts about me.  But the answer to Kyle and sleep is fleece.  As in a fleece blanket in his crib.  *gasp* *shock* /faint.

Friday as I tried to get him to sleep I sat next to his crib in my rocking chair in my robe, my fluffy robe.  After a bit of screaming he started to reach for the sleeve.  I thought he was reaching for my hand so I’d give that to him.  He’d play with it for a bit but then go back to my robe.

On Saturday morning when he woke at 4am I didn’t have my robe on.  And he didn’t sleep.

Saturday afternoon my mother tried to get him to nap and it was a fight.  But she got him down eventually.  No fleece.

Sunday evening Kat gave me a fleece blanket and as I sat next to his bed I put it over me.  He kept reaching for it over and over and mommy got a bright idea.  I put the corner of the blanket in between the bars of his crib.  Like I’d given him the most bestest thing in the world he rubbed his face against it and put his thumb in his mouth happily.  So I ran and grabbed one of his fleece receiving blankets and put that in there.

Like a moth to a flame he grabbed it and rubbed his face and sucked his thumb and was out in 10 minutes.  He never work up.  Ok, well he did but that was because he was stuck.  But after that not a peep until 8am.

Tonight I put him in his crib, he grabbed the blanket and found his sweet spot.  Not one cry, not one peep, not one moment of fussing.  15 minutes.

The moral of the story?  Saftey is so very important with our children.  I’m pretty vigilant about it with him but if a fleece blanket he wants to curl around and rub his cheek on will get him to sleep happily through the night I’m not going to argue.

Oh, as for my test today, the tech, of course, couldn’t tell me what she saw.  I should know tomorrow if it’s the gall bladder.  Until then I get to be on the happy cocktail of antibiotics again for the Colitis that reared it’s ugly head over the weekend.  My doctor did make it clear I had to go get the wonderful and way not uncomfortable scope up the butt test done and like, last week.

What do I wish for?

Some days I wish for a million dollars.  I don’t need to live the high life, just enough to pay off all our debt, buy a nice condo and have Jason work a job he enjoys rather than one that pays well and for me to stay home with Kyle.  And maybe have another baby.  I don’t wish for enough to travel to all the corners of the earth, for enough to buy designer clothes and eat at fancy places.  Just enough to be secure.

Other days I wish that my body would work as intended.  To not have constant pain, upset tummys, blinding headaches and eyes that worked without the aid of glasses or contacts.

Still others I just wish for a quiet night with maybe Kat and Paul here.  Nothing fancy maybe some pizza and some Mario Party on the Wii.

The last week I’ve wished, and prayed, for patience with Kyle.  I love my son but last night I didn’t like him very much.  He’s such a happy and Independence baby, curious about the world, advanced (like the kid started walking at 9 months) and his giggles are infectious.  But he cannot be left alone for even enough time to go to the bathroom or he’ll play with everything he shouldn’t.  He lies on the cats and squashes them.  He gets clingy and whiny when I try and leave a room.    Worse is his sleep.  He doesn’t want too.

At 5:30 this morning he woke screaming.  I repeated my routine for getting him down the previous night and it worked.  Ok it didn’t go great but he napped, played and let me rock myself and get into that almost sleep state.  But come 6:30, his normal wake up time, there was no way he was going back to sleep.  At that moment I had to ask God to please grant me serenity because I was so tired and he was so not.

Then I got mad at myself.  Instead of taking solace in the fact that he had slept later than normal, that the routine had pretty much worked I was pissed that I had to be awake.

I got him breakfast, sat him in his high chair and went to the bathroom.  When I returned I found that he’d managed to climb out of the chair and was precariously standing with just one foot on it, his hands supporting him on a tv tray that was ready to give from under him.  My heart stopped and I berated myself again.  I know this kid can climb.  I know he should be strapped in but I was so immersed just getting him some breakfast so I could pee I didn’t take a second to think about his safety.

So what do I wish for?  I wish I could be a more selfless mommy

So about that sleeping thing….

Remember when I posted about our new sleep routine with Kyle and how it was working and we’d finally gotten him through the night?  Yeah that lasted a month until he got a cold.  When that happened we did go to him and comfort him.  Then the holiday’s came with their own brand of crazy.  Long story short.  He’s not always sleeping through the night.

To make that really bad is that now it’s on the other side of impossible to get him to sleep again.  This morning he was awake at 4am.  By 6am I was in tears and at my wits end.  I’d done everything but the moment he was asleep and snoring and I’d put him in his crib he’d start in with blood curdling screams.  My end came when I put him in bed next to Jason and told him I was ready to let him scream and sleep in my bathroom with the fan on so I couldn’t hear.

He did not sleep until 7am.

Today my parents and Lexie were here.  I’d gotten a newish bed and dad and I were moving it while Lexie and mom kept Kyle busy.  Lots of stuff (of course) went wrong.  My mom tried to get Kyle down for a nap but again the moment he was in his crib blood curdling screams.  She finally managed to get him to nap by continuing to put him in a lying down position, patting him and refusing to let him stand in his crib.

Tonight I made a vow.  I went through his normal routine.  He’d start to nod off during his bottle and wake himself up.  He and I went into his bed time ready room and I put him in his crib.  Crying.  I pulled the rocker next to the bed.  Still crying.  But then a funny thing happened.  He realized I wasn’t going anywhere so he stopped crying.  He just stood there and started to play with his soother and his Glow Worm (Glowie) and then he’d reach out for me.  I’d hold his hand for a moment then let go.

For a few moments he started to cry again but I put my hands on his head then when he stopped crying I took them off.  As he started to check out his blankie, Glowie and the soother I rocked and closed my eyes.  When he finally laid down he reached for my arm and played with my robe.  Sometimes I’d put my hand in other times I’d just let him play with his robe.

With one last cry he fell asleep, curled in the corner where I sat, thumb in his mouth.  Tonight will once again be the test when he wakes up in full panic mode.

Thanks to Lexie’s 9 year old help I was able to get some things done today so now I can play games all night until I go to sleep.  Last night I got mom and dad’s computer all ready to go.  Made sure they had anti spy ware on it, set up a second, limited website blocked profile for the grandkids, got them both email addresses.  Once they get ‘net at their place I’ll go and we’ll set up a password to their profile so the kids can’t get in on that side.

Of course I have no faith that teenagers won’t try and find ways around these blocks.  But as usual, I have a plan for that.

On a totally different thought, my co workers think it’s funny I use big words.